He waits in the other room
expectant that all will go on
as it's done before.
Dinner is time for all
the knives, forks and spoons
to pleasingly line up.
She rips hair from her head,
weaves them to make a fine thread.
A sliver of bone salvaged
from when it first was shattered
makes a serviceable needle.
She sews flesh to unsightly flesh,
restraining her squirming viscera.
A tug of the needle and it's done.
She is free to carry the food,
while everyone waits.
It was a small misstep
that caused her to drop
the pretense of gracefulness,
as the seams finally give.
Blood blends with the gravy
though intestines are less inconspicuous.
He turns away,
covers his mouth with a serviette.
"Why did you do that? Darling,
you've made me so uncomfortable."
Song Choice: Originally I thought Killing in the Name cover by Brass Against featuring Sophia Urista. but only because this song has been giving me life during the last week. No, the best song for this poem is Voices Carry by Til Tuesday. I'm only leaving the first song link up because it's an awesome cover and everyone should hear it.
This poem is linked to Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads Tuesday Platform
Featuring poetic beats, lyrical storytelling, and other assorted jazz.
Oh, those seams coming undone and sewed back with that sliver of bone is the picture of this violence and the brokenness of self — the breaking is so powerful in its telling and the stitch so fragile in its threadbare story. It is significant in how your words carry the weight of the histories of this pain and suppression — anything deviating from the socially accepted and purported "gracefulness" is offensive and uncomfortable for the privileged gender.
ReplyDeleteI see so many stories in this. Wonderful penmanship.
-HA
Thanks Anmol. I suppose it's no surprise that the original spark for this came from the news cycle in the USA. There is a lot to be said about the reaction the privileged had to national politics.
DeleteThis brings back a movie I saw a long time ago at a film festival... a young girl working with a shadow play theater fell in love (I think) and punished herself by sewing her fingers together... it was filmed in great detail, and the symbolism of the act was exactly as the one you described... this poem is shocking but therefore one of your best IMHO
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a departure from my usual. And it was a shocking thing to look upon when I was done. But I'm proud I did it. Thank you for the high praise.
Deletethe pain, shame, guilt, frustration and humiliation that eventually boils over into rage, and then reactionary choices is well captured and umm... flavoured here ...
ReplyDeleteit's harsh and brittle, like a bone fracture/fragment, and yet it also speaks, with the tension of clenched teeth, of some sliver of determination to make a different choice ... one perhaps, hopefully, better suited to regain solid footing and ground ... and oddly, this poem also makes me stop and consider the duality of the idea of "victim" - because for as certainly as one can and may suffer at the hands, literally or simply put, social pretenses etc. who is ultimately a victim? are not both equally put paid to this price, in some way - yes, there are ideas to consider here in this poem ... and sadly, I'm not sure there is actual resolution, perhaps more of a dissolution .... but then, maybe the story isn't quite finished yet.
After I was done writing it I thought this could be made into a short story and I hemmed and hawed about expanding it. I might someday, but I like some of the ambiguity in this piece and the questions that raises. I'm really happy to see that it was thought provoking.
DeleteLOL, though one thing I might change - the song choice. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE this cover and it's been on my mind as my battle song against the horrible news cycle. But there is none of that defiance in this poem (at least not in the part depicted).
DeleteNo, a far better fit for this would be Voices Carry by Til Tuesday. I'm fixing it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
Yes, that is a good choice of a song indeed. :)
DeleteActually, when I wrote "perhaps the story isn't finished" ... I did mean to suggest that you needed to expand anything here, although certainly, it would work out for something longer too, without a doubt. I just meant that within the piece, the voices haven't finished speaking yet, which is fine. As you've said, it doesn't have to be more than it is - and I think it's solid as it is too. (just to clarify)
Thanks Pat!
Deleteand me and typos .... again - I meant to say, I didn't mean to suggest, but I think you caught it!
DeleteLOL, we're all good!
DeleteThis paints a gory picture of domestic violence.. shocking and heartbreaking. Wonderfully written Rommy.
ReplyDeleteThanks Thotpurge. This is definitely different from my usual, but I am glad I wrote it.
DeleteThere is an ugliness in humanity which keeps raising its head and you have shown us this in your horrifying poem Rommy. Luckily I was brought up in wartime Britain with mothers and aunts who took on a strong role in the family and retained it when men home from the war. Sadly the need for dominance of some men still lives on which only shows inherent weakness.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is definitely a response to some of the ugliness that I'm seeing here in the United States with the way we as a country treat women who have survived sexual assault.
DeleteGulp! Your poem is so well-written, Rommy - it made me feel more than uncomfortable. Having been there, I found revisiting old habits hard, especially in the lines:
ReplyDelete'She sews flesh to unsightly flesh,
restraining her squirming viscera.
A tug of the needle and it's done'
and
'Blood blends with the gravy
though intestines are less inconspicuous'
is genius!
When I was done writing it, I had a feeling it would make more than a few people squirm. It made me squirm while writing it. I'm sorry if it was a difficult read, but I'm glad you feel it was well done.
DeleteAs soon as the knives and forks came into play, I knew it was going to be morbid. The last line made me half gasp and half laugh!
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
DeleteThis is so honest and raw with emotion. Your words paint a vivid and undeniable picture of domestic violence and emotional abuse.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sanaa. This was a huge departure style-wise for me, but the political events of the last week compelled me to experiment.
DeleteYikes, this relationship makes my stomach turn. Such an unhappy situation, yet it seems destined to continue along its agonizing course. Well drawn portrait of a relationship in trouble.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary. I am glad I was able to portray that darkness. The men in power in America have a lot to answer for.
DeleteWow. Those first few lines...did not lead where I thought they would. His reaction turned my stomach, stealing, as they did, the focus for himself.
ReplyDeleteYes, that was my intent exactly. I was glad I was able to convey that.
DeleteYes, as Chrissa has said, the discomfort of the privileged male is such a classic response to the woman's pain. Sigh. I am 72, tired from a lifetime of fighting for hard won rights now in peril, and i cant believe the nightmare we are living. I hope these grinning ghouls are on the way out for, if not, we are doomed. Every woman needs to vote this next time.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is exactly what I was trying to get across. I am enraged, and I hope that other women are too, so that we can do something.
DeleteDomestic violence in all its ugliness, painful to read. Great write.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It was wrenching to write, but the events of the past couple of weeks left me fuming to write something.
DeleteA powerful write.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ayala
DeleteThis is brilliantly drawn - intense and impactful. There is a stifled horror in this piece that, for me, mirrors events of this last week … that horror, there now … there, in all its ugliness … though voices mingle in it, proclaiming: it will pass, soon. Apparently, it was just making everyone uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteYes, the news in the US over these last two weeks absolutely inspired this piece.
DeleteI can stop staring into the eyes of the subject, what a bastard. The only thing that keeps from jumping into this piece and strangling that waste of space is the fact that her newly stitched determination is going to do what needs done. Discomfort is going to be the least of his worries.
ReplyDeleteThe pacing for this piece is perfect, it reads like a story. The suspense builds and builds, we see the ripping, the spilling, feel the insult... and the dismissal (of the real problem).
I was very pleased with the pacing too. It was a bit of serendipity as I didn't consciously write it with pacing in mind.
DeleteYay!
ReplyDeleteyoo RITE!!
Gotta lotta
exceedingly
exquisite,
extraordinary
exponential
extravanganza
expunging
excessively,
exuberantly,
exactly!
Whew.
Wannum?
Woot! So glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteWow! This is so visceral! It packs a gory punch indeed.
ReplyDeleteThis stanza :
She sews flesh to unsightly flesh,
restraining her squirming viscera.
A tug of the needle and it's done.
...yes, this made me sit up!
Very well penned.
This is definitely one of the goriest things I've written.
DeleteThis is powerful and heartbreaking! Very well written Rommy! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI surprised myself a little with how this turned out. Thanks Stacy.
DeleteLove.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you did <3
DeleteThis is brilliant, Rommy! Even though I am not an American, the news out of America, over the past several weeks in particular, has preoccupied me and I feel like I've been in a constant state of simmering anger and dismay. I had such a visceral reaction to reading this piece. And I can imagine it translated visually into a painting or a powerful short film.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of sorrow and anger over what is happening in my country. I can only hope that this will galvanize people into shaking off their apathy and voting.
Delete