I thought I'd gotten used to the process
of things getting broken—
broken home, broken promises.
Watching your brother's bones break
while screaming in the background
is different.
long before the moment my world shattered,
the moment that still threatens
to steal all my will from me.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
Why should they?
I rolled past complications
as fast as my skateboard would take me.
I never thought grief would be
the speedbump flinging me into the dark,
where even my friends can’t find me.
I met a girl,
on the verge of forgetting her magic.
I reminded her
no guy gets to define her
choices or her power.
I met a boy
full of imagination and loyalty.
We reminded each other
that choosing love
usually means choosing to be real.
I met a monster
who reminded me I could drown,
I met myself
in the darkness, tying my spirit
to notes and words
strong enough to wrap around my heartbreak.
All I can do now is hope
that it’s enough to remind myself
I’m the girl who stands up to grownups and monsters,
the one with the unbeatable score,
and I can outrun this moment.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
Why should they?
I rolled past complications
as fast as my skateboard would take me.
I never thought grief would be
the speedbump flinging me into the dark,
where even my friends can’t find me.
I met a girl,
on the verge of forgetting her magic.
I reminded her
no guy gets to define her
choices or her power.
I met a boy
full of imagination and loyalty.
We reminded each other
that choosing love
usually means choosing to be real.
I met a monster
who reminded me I could drown,
choking on contradictions of love and hate
while I torture myself
with every variation of “what if”.
(What if the world hadn't ground you down first?
while I torture myself
with every variation of “what if”.
(What if the world hadn't ground you down first?
What if I shouted louder?
What if we were better to each other?
What if I wasn't a screwup?)
I met myself
in the darkness, tying my spirit
to notes and words
strong enough to wrap around my heartbreak.
All I can do now is hope
that it’s enough to remind myself
I’m the girl who stands up to grownups and monsters,
the one with the unbeatable score,
and I can outrun this moment.
Song Choice: What else but that scene from Stranger Things? Warning, if you aren't caught up (and you plan to be at some point) listen to this cover of Running Up That Hill by Rain Paris instead.
Liner Notes for This Groove: This poem was created for the Friday Writings post at Poets and Storytellers United, TV Time.
Powerful!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Debra!
DeleteOnce again I am reminded this is a show I MUST finally discover for myself.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy it. They get the 80's feel in a way that seems spot on to me (I'd be about the same age as the kids in the show) and it definitely appeals to my inner 13 year old who liked to sneak read Stephen King books when my parents weren't paying attention. Max is one of my favorite characters.
DeleteThe truth is I’ve been running
ReplyDeletelong before the moment my world shattered... and the last line..I can outrun this moment... phew! loved it!
Thanks, Rajani. I definitely wanted to incorporate some of the words of the song in the final piece.
Delete"
ReplyDeleteI reminded her
no guy gets to define her
choices or her power."
Profound!!!
Happy Friday
Muchđź’–love
I hope you have a lovely Friday too!
DeleteWonderful and relatable. I got a little goosebump chill.
ReplyDeleteI am always delighted when I can give folks a chill!
DeleteWhat powerful words you've written in this show's voice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Debi. The character's arc gave me a lot to work with.
DeleteYour poetry took me to a dark places, like Stranger Things has done so many times! This is an exquisite write, Rommy!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Helen. The source material really gave me so much to work with.
DeleteStranger things, how do one classify it, dark fantasy, horror, or sci-fi? I think perhaps a bit of each. I saw a couple of seasons and it's really good. Your poem took me back to all those kids whose community treated them like outcasts
ReplyDeleteI'd say yes to all of them. It definitely takes a lot of inspiration in Stephen King stories (LOL, including its title font).
DeleteThe comment that comes to mind was so contrarian I think it needs to be a separate poem. This poem does capture the character in the video clip, anyway.
ReplyDeleteIt was meant to be from the point of view of that character (her name is in the title). Maxine Mayfield has seen a lot of the awful side of both humanity and the supernatural. As can be expected, she has a lot to process.
DeleteWe all process the terrible things that happen to us differently. There is no one right way to go about doing that. Most of the time we don't so much heal as much as learn to bear the pain. A later episode of the series shows the non-linear progression of that too.
That scene is special to me as it reminds me of how terrifying and difficult fighting one's inner demons can be. How easy it can be to hurt other people because you are in pain that no one else but you sees. And how even though it is unspeakably hard and painful, it's still possible to come out breathing on the other side of the battle.
Wow!
ReplyDelete"I met myself
in the darkness, tying my spirit
to notes and words
strong enough to wrap around my heartbreak."
The power of this makes me want to see the show.
I enjoyed the last 4 seasons quite a bit. It's going to be interesting to see how they wrap things up!
DeleteThere is a special kind of power in finding out who we are, in accepting what we find, and in living with our eyes open--even if it isn't easy. There will be pain and loss, of course... but what we gain from the experience is a gain no one can take away from us. When we meet ourselves, when we kiss our dark and bright on the mouth, the world belongs to us.
ReplyDeleteI really love this. Would love to hear you read it aloud.
It isn't easy walking through that darkness. Most other people prefer to put their attention on anything else--and that's understandable, especially when we know that journey is going to be anything but comfortable. But there is power in owning that journey, and yes that's something no one can take away.
DeleteI think I might just read it out loud and share it on Instagram at some point.
Shivers!
ReplyDelete