Camouflaged Colors Don't Please My Heart

I wanted to paint with bubbles,
slap new colors over thorns and roses.
But my palette wasn't right.

Artificial bright washing
drains an already weary heart
that needs to make its aching known,
despite attempts to force my mouth
into saying, "This is fine."

Things hide in false light. And they bite
leaving marks bleached away by lack of contrast,
so that we don't know we've been poisoned.

No. I need to reach for the right colors
to tell the truth waiting patiently amid the grays.

Perhaps the mood for brighter hues will return again.
But, when they do, they will be real,
not camouflage for what I don't want to see.



Linked to the Tuesday Platform for Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads and Poetry Pantry 342 at Poet's United


Process Notes:  Recently it was my turn to create a prompt for Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads. I came up with one I thought I was happy with, but when the day arrived, I found there was no way I could honestly get into the child-like spirit I had envisioned. The final product was more cynical teen than wide-eyed kid.

The truth is that after November 8th, it's not going to be easy for me to be upbeat on demand, even if I'm the one doing the demanding. As a wise friend and I later discussed, putting up a false self makes for lousy art. The only way I'm going to grow as a poet and a writer, is to be willing to work with the truth of who I am and write that.



Song Choice: Paint It Black covered by Ciara

56 comments:

  1. Truth in art is beautiful and so is your heart, Rommy, no matter how weary it is.

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  2. You seek the words of your heart, deeply to surface, this is admirable. Best wishes

    much love...

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  3. We need the dark times, as your piece states so well, for the contrast that they bring. To force the shiny, pop surreal idea of positivity drains the life force. Melancholy can be such a healing time. I am glad you went the direction you did. I enjoyed it immensely!

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  4. Replies
    1. I'm glad this touched you Francesca

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  5. Yes. The true words and feelings are what make poems resonate in the reader. I know this poem did, with me.

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  6. There is the perplexity of it. We set the pen to paper, then hope...

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  7. When we leave our selves outside our writing, the words read hollow. I'm with Sherry, this poem (and your last) sing to the reader. It's obvious that it was written with soul.

    All right, this is my third attempt at leaving a comment. The next time, I will smack blogger.

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    1. LOL, I have that problem too sometimes! Drives me batty.

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  8. Things hide in false light. That is a great line and yes, poetry is honest or it just doesn't work.

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    1. Right, there's very little point to it if I'm not going to do this right.

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  9. I know what you're saying.. no possibility for me to camouflage my angst either,

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    1. And it doesn't pay to try. I'm not saying I'll never work on happy sounding projects again, but there are going to be moments where I need to give my grief and anger a voice too.

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  10. It is a time of pain and fear. I express it often, but I am working on my next book and delving deep into my spirit where there is still light.

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  11. Whatever gifts we have as poets-- whatever craft we've learned -- depends upon the unrelenting spiritual journey to truth, to live at the center of it as best as we can every moment. That means getting more to the inside of the insides of things, which is very hard to do since it defies us to go beyond our habitual ways of seeing and saying. How to be the adult version of that child, still faithful to innocence while striving for wisdom in years? What is the true color of that, how does it look when we paint the next canvas of day? And when times are less and less propitious, as Eliot wrote in "Four Quartets" (right in the middle of the Second World War)? Way-stations like this poem are required, frail and open ended as they must be. Great work, friend.

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    1. Thank you Brendan. I suspect many of us will pushing through as best we can in the days to come.

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  12. But, when they do, they will be real,
    not camouflage for what I don't want to see

    Often been said that there comes a time of reckoning when things suddenly fade. It makes it doubly fearful and frustrating. But one just would have to soldier on!

    Hank

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    1. Right. I know in those times, I will need to take care of my wounds, express myself, but as you said, soldier on and go to the next place.

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  13. False light, bleached colours, hidden poisons... Is this was living has come to?

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    1. These days in the US, it would seem so.

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  14. I agree - if you can't be truthful in art, then just go masturbate. You'll bother fewer people, and you'll feel better for a short while. Loved the honesty - I'm with you - Happy Xmas (and every holiday you may / may not observe). - Mosk

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    1. LOL, I love the honesty in your response too! Quite true :D Happy Whatever It Is You and Your Family Does to Keep the Cheer This Time of Year!

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  15. poets are all in the same leaky boat, eh? rain falling, one oar broken, and the oil tanker that's bearing down wouldn't stop even if the captain did see us.

    still, gotta keep plugging. .. ~

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    1. Very apt description. And yes, we all row on.

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  16. Dark days...I think so too. It's affected me so that I've stopped writing. I admire your courage, and I'm inspired by your honesty.

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    1. I stopped writing for a couple of weeks right after it happened, but when the desire to write came back as strong as ever, I knew that I'd always need to express myself in some artistic manner. Just the topics may be darker here and there.

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  17. Right there with you, Rommy. Let's stand together.

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    1. Absolutely. It's the only way we'll get through this.

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  18. Replies
    1. In the end, it's the best way to live.

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  19. Nothing surpasses words from the heart! Well said!

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  20. Alas... we are many feeling the same... and if France, Holland and Germany are lured to the dark side I wonder what the world will look like...

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  21. Yes, that is what makes our work authentic. This morning I watched a cool 1300 voice choir sing I Can't Keep Quiet with the Toronto group MILCK. Very stirring. This is not the time to be quiet, for sure. Try to find the video.......very affirming,

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  22. Always write your truth as you see it. There is no other way.

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    1. Certainly none that is good for us.

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  23. truth is the shield & truth is the sword for the poets against weary hearts and barbarian lies...wonderfully captivated...

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    1. Sumana, you may have answered my poem with a poem of your own. I look forward to reading that line in one of your works. :)

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  24. Yes, if poets have a duty, that's it. And it is a duty to ourselves most of all.

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  25. As Shakespeare put it in his play Hamlet "To thine own self be true" which is always good advice.

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    Replies
    1. The bard knew what he was talking about.

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  26. Truth can be such a bitter pill at times. The right colors always help.

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    1. Sometimes, they are only things that do help.

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