You're what I dreamed of
before I learned some dreams come with a cost.
I've watched a tender heart
mutilate everything she was
on the assumption her love could cross any barrier.
Still, I reach for you,
until I remember a promise made
over the dissolving remains of a life.
What would it be like
to bring you into my world?
I've seen you looking, enchanted,
just as I was enchanted with a place that is not my own.
Would that look stay
when I tell you everything?
Would you accept all of it,
not expecting me to cut away the core of myself?
I've seen the way you smile,
and for a moment let myself dream
of nights spent hiding nothing,
loving hard enough to dissolve barriers instead of hearts.
But some dreams come with a cost
and I don't know if I can pay for this one.
Song Choice: Rewrite the Stars, from the musical The Greatest Showman
This poem is linked up to the Tuesday Platform at Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads and Poets United, Poetry Pantry #416.
Featuring poetic beats, lyrical storytelling, and other assorted jazz.
The beginning provides such a perfect framework to the thought and feeling behind this verse. Such costs of wanting can be so debilitating for the soul. The fear of having to undo one's own self in some way, for the heart's desire to be fulfilled for a certain acceptance, is palpable in your words.
ReplyDelete-HA
I abide by my earlier words. The second read only makes it more palpable. So very well-penned.
Delete-HA
LOL - thank you so much for reading it twice! <3
DeleteOoh Rommy this is beautiful, tender and incredibly heartfelt! I can resonate with the feeling of wanting.. sometimes we don't understand the fact that perhaps what we want may not be suitable for us. We get absorbed with desire and its constant pull that blinds logic and reason. Sigh. I can't say I have been there but lets just say I have had a small taste of it.
ReplyDeleteDesire and logic often war with each other.
DeleteRelationships and dreams often don't mesh, at least for long. Cost can be a broken heart and a stifled sob that NEVER goes away.
ReplyDelete..
It only works if both have similar dreams
DeleteI see the double wanting so beautifully written here. The pursuit of the unattainable dream of the enchanted partner pairs with a heart wrenching ache to be wanted for themselves. Very tender, very sad. It was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI am very glad that aspect came across!
DeleteBeautifully written, and so poignant.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rosemary
DeleteOuch! The final couplet packs a punch.
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
DeleteA tough subject so well delivered
ReplyDeleteThanks Jae
DeleteI love the structure of this poem. You open the door with the first stanza, use the middle ones to expand a situation that seem immense in just two lines. Then, as if our heart has not been stimulated enough, you drop that ending into it... that powerful (and realistic) declaration that remind us that as glorious as some things might be, the price they ask might be just too much. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteThis is yummy.
Thanks! I had hoped this structure would work for what I was shooting for in this piece.
DeleteA haunting beginning...I like how it is revisited at the end.
ReplyDeleteThanks mysterious internet stranger! Sometimes, I'm not so great at pulling off that sort of bookended structure, but I'm pleased with how this came out.
Delete"Would that look stay if I tell you everything?"
ReplyDeleteSnarky middle-aged thoughts come to mind...I should write my own poem about those. This is a nice poem.
LOL, I for one would enjoy reading the snarky stuff
DeleteBut some dreams come with a cost
ReplyDeleteand I don't know if I can pay for this one.
Rightly so Rommy! One can't be sure one can accept the harshness and the fright that comes with it!
Hank
Some people can't be sure what they will accept until they come tight to the moment of wanting.
Delete"You're what I dreamed of
ReplyDeletebefore I learned some dreams come with a cost."
A breath-stealing beginning that leads to such a panaroma of poignancy! What a true heartbreaker you've written! Bravo!
Thanks Frank
DeleteA cautionary tale, I think. Indeed some dreams come with a cost, and sometimes the cost is not worth it. One has to be wary of those with whom one thinks one could not be authentic. Authentic is so important in any relationship. If one has doubts, better to steer clear.
ReplyDeleteOh, if only I could learn to heed those inner warnings!
DeletePretty much. A relationship where one's authenticity is compromised must be a sort of torture.
DeleteSome prices come up rather high where the heart and soul are concerned. I love the contemplative tone of this poem.
ReplyDeleteWoot, I'm glad it felt contemplative.
DeleteI think ALL dreams come with a cost. Which doesnt prevent us from dreaming. You have written this so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteExactly Sherry! That's it in a nutshell. People will always be dreaming, even knowing that to make those dreams happen has to cost something.
DeleteIt's amazing how you can put so much into these verses--I can read them like a fairy tale and a warning and a wish.
ReplyDeleteA fairy tale? *rubs hands in delighted glee* That was EXACTLY the feel I wanted. *does a happy dance*
DeleteI love this poem, Rommy, it really speaks to me! How true are the lines:
ReplyDelete'You're what I dreamed of
before I learned some dreams come with a cost'.
And how many of us have made promises 'over the dissolving remains of a life'?
Too many of us, sadly enough. I am glad you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteIt takes a long, long time for people to fully reveal themselves to each other - and then: some relationship falter and fail … and some grow in depth and affection. I suppose that is why - in the beginning, we are giddy with the newness of it all … before we discover the cost of our dream. Awesome writing!
ReplyDeleteVery true. Those that grow are a wonder and a blessing.
DeleteCan we be so open as to reveal everything? Very difficult I think, but lucky are those that can. Curiously my wife never told me about her other boyfriend until we were engaged and then she gave him up!
ReplyDeleteDang! But she clearly made the right choice in the end. ;)
Delete