The picture at Magpie Tales that inspired this entry
Another bite…
It’s so small really.
Barely enough to make a meal of.
Another bite…
These spoons are so tiny.
You can hardly call these proper mouthfuls at all.
Another bite…
Don’t stop, you’ve had a good deal already.
What’s just a small taste more?
Another bite…
That gurgle is your stomach hungry for more.
There is no acid creeping up your throat.
Another bite…
But they have all gathered here! Just for you!
See! The candles have been lit for this moment.
Another bite…
Complaints? Those would be rude.
There will be none of that.
Another bite…
Do you really think you can stop it now?
Do you really think you can leave it so easily?
Another bite…
See? It’s not too terrible.
You’ll get used to the taste soon.
Just…
Another…
Bite…
Way to go! Loved this!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I think it turned out alright!
DeleteWow! Wow! Beautifully done! Lots to read into this and magically extracted from the image. I love this, loved the building tension, the inner dialogue. It's great!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't have been able to do it without that nudge from you!
DeleteClever indeed. Brava...
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Deletevery clever indeed!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks!
DeleteFascinating, a little chilling somehow...
ReplyDeleteI was going for a bit of a chilling vibe, so I'm glad to see it came through!
DeleteHow to be force fed - politely? LOL very chilling overtones in these simple words....
ReplyDeleteThe polite, but terrible insistence of it, is what I wanted to convey
DeleteApocalypto ! Excellent
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteI feel a little queasy! Great job!
ReplyDeleteLOL, if I made readers a bit queasy afterwards then I know I accomplished something! Thanks!
DeleteThe desperation... I'm feeling sorry for the one been force-fed and I don't even know what they are eating. Just another bite... another hit... another insult... or another caress or touch... just one more until...
ReplyDeleteLove it.
I'm glad I was able to get the mood right with this one! Thanks!
DeleteSounds like me on a diet...giggle...well done...
ReplyDeleteLOL, that was the exact same comment my best friend had when she read it!
DeleteLove the way you went with this....and the repitition works well with it....Love your blog Kestril! :-)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure if the repetition would be too over the top, but I decided to try writing it out that way and be OK with changing it if it was too clunky. It's not as brilliant as "measuring your life with coffee spoons" (TS Elliot, The Love Song of Alfred J Prufrock) but I think it added a lot to the tone I wanted.
DeleteHi Kestril,
ReplyDeleteI found your lovely blog thanks to the Insecure Writer's Support Group list. You have a lovely way with words. This poem started out suggesting one thing and led me to think of something totally different by the end. As someone else said, the repetition of words works very well!
Nice to meet you!
Jen
Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteApology totally unnecessary! Poetry is poetry.
ReplyDeleteThis was the second poem I put out on line (the first was as a guest blogger on a friend's page). I've really grown to enjoy writing poetry regularly since then. It's interesting to see some of the ways my style has changed.
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