Hallowed Be Thy Flip Flops





The door shut behind him. Sal realized how poorly the water company uniform fit him. He crossed himself as the imposing woman glowered at him.

“You are not the Mother’s Helper I requested,” she said.

“You – you said come in. When I knocked. You told me to.”

Her hair billowed around her, though there wasn’t a trace of breeze in the air today. The same enigmatic wind held up the see-through pink cloth doing a poor job of hiding her butt. A pair of dollar store flip flops finished her look. For a second, her boobs were hidden by the canister vacuum cleaner she held, but when she turned to look at him everything was in full view.

Had Sal not been petrified, the word MILF might have come to mind.

“What is your purpose here? Be quick about it! I have a full afternoon ahead of me and an even longer evening.  I can’t afford lengthy interruptions.”

“I, um, I…” Sal strained to remember what he wanted to say.

A small child floated into the room, outfitted similarly to his mother but his cloth streamed out behind him like a cape. He was contemplating an action figure held in his chubby fist until he saw Sal standing at the threshold. “No poems can please for long or live that are written by water drinkers.  Horace,” the child said.

A second child swooped in, this one holding a torch as well as an action figure. “In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.  Lao Tzu.” He flew at his brother with the action figure in front of him. The two started rough housing in midair.

“Boys!” The Mother dropped the vacuum and grabbed them both by the cape. The wriggling children didn’t seem too bothered by this and continued to mash their figures into each other until the Mother took the toys and the torch from them.

One child pouted, looked at Sal and said, “Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. Christopher Morley.”

Sal remembered why he came and blurted out. “I’m here from the water company. I need you to turn off all your water so that I can check your pipes.”

The halo around the Mother flared, blinding Sal for a moment.

The children’s giggles broke the silence. “Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. Dick Armey,” one said.

“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. Hunter S. Thompson,” the other said.

“Oh for the love of Me! Really? REALLY? Do I look like someone who would fall for a scam like that? Ugh! I don’t have time for this!”

The Mother pointed at Sal and an action figure clattered to the ground where he once stood.

One of the children picked up the new action figure and floated to the Mother, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Time is a game played beautifully by children. Heraclitus.”

She took the figure from her son and smiled. “Oh, I guess it’s not like Elpis has not seen a disordered house before. I can be a little late to that earthquake.”

Her other child nodded, “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. Tenneva Jordan.”

Sal said, “Pie…um, pipes, um… yeah, you know I think your pipes are OK ma’am. I’ll just go now…”

The Mother smiled. “No."

This story is based on the picture prompt given by Magpie Tales 257



60 comments:

  1. My sexy goddess on flip-flops, Rommy! This is wonderful. I love the theme, the surreality of their exchange, the tension... and how you've manage to flesh out so many characters in such few words.

    Now, I hope we get to see what her smile is promising. Yum!

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    1. The surreal setting was fun to play around with. It didn't turn out too badly for an experiment!

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    2. "It didn't turn out too badly..."? My goodness, if this is your "not too badly", warn me when you throw "the good stuff" our way. I might need assistance after I'm done reading it. This story is super-yummy and then some!

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    3. You're going to give me a swelled head!

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    4. I came back for another taste, read "Oh for the love of Me!" and roared. This is such a fantastic story. I suspect that it will always be one of my favorites by you.

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  2. Wow this is amazing, I love how you incorporated the wonderful quotes that you did and I love how you showed the love of a mother for her children.

    Oh and the flip flops are perfect :-)

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    1. Thanks! I wanted both her affection and exasperation in there and I'm happy it worked.

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  3. I grew up loving Greek and Roman mythology and your take on this is utterly delightful!! I just love that the little guys are flying quote machines! Your descriptions are so visual. I hope there will be more of the peek into the everyday lives of the powerful and godly! It was a romp! More, please?

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    1. I loved Greek and Roman myths too as a kid! My favorite by far was Odysseus but I'd go back to those myths for reading material over and over again. :)

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  4. What a wonderfully amazing story.

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

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    1. Thanks! It was very much an experiment but I'm pleased with how it turned out.

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  5. Heeheehee. Now i'm wondering what the exterior & interior of the house looks like, or is :)

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    1. LOL, when I finished writing this story, I started wondering what the children's room must look like - that made my head spin!

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  6. Love the story and the floating quoting cherubs, even a goddess gets lumbered with housework.

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    1. Housework gets us all no matter how busy we may be!

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  7. I cannot tell you HOW MUCH I love this story! I love every little thing about it -- the Divine Feminine in flip flops, the quotation-spouting cherubs, and the inside intel about where action figures come from. Brava, Rommy, Brava!

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    1. The flip flops get me smiling too. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad others found it as funny as I did.

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  9. A cracking entry and a refreshing step away from rhyming and stuff. By far this line had me giggling:

    "The two started rough housing in midair"

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    1. Little kids have a tendency to misbehave when we're the most rushed - floating, quotation spouting ones are no exception!

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  10. Oh Rommy love this fresh take on the age old position of mothers, and that line about 'Time is a game played beautifully by children' it is wonderful, magic... Hey gotta share one of my fav Aussie painters with you 'Wendy Sharpe' she did herself in a self portrait as 'Diana of Erskineville'... Goddess with 'flip flops' (or as we call them in Oz - 'thongs').... Great tale Rommy!

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    1. Ooh! I'll go look for that painting :)

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  11. Wonderful, Rommy! I do so enjoy it when bounders bite off more than they can chew and get their deliciously deserved comeuppance! :D

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    1. Me too! Besides the painting, part of the inspiration was reading about a news story where robbers posed as utility workers to get inside a house to quickly grab what they could while the hapless owners mucked about turning off the water. I wondered what would happen if such a person hit up the wrong house, LOL

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  12. Now that is a story, and your imagination colors well this pretty picture as well.

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    1. Thank you. I think I've learned in this exercise that my imagination can get to some odd places - which is not a terrible thing when one writes short stories!

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  13. Enjoyable read! Love that you included the flip-flops...

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    1. I had to get those flip-flops in there somehow!

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  14. I truly enjoyed reading this! Amazing! Great words, great descriptions! Very cute!

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    1. Thanks! The picture was a wonderful inspiration for this prompt. I couldn't have gotten such fun descriptions otherwise.

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  15. A wonderful piece. Pretty and Messy and Chaotic like the Hatter's Tea Party or a dose of Gilliam. Each quote was smile worthy and used well. This was good. Really good.

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    1. Thanks! I think my mind naturally goes towards Wonderland weirdness so I may have had an advantage working with the painting prompt that way.

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  16. This is interesting - although I had a little trouble, at times, seeing who was speaking, or what they were doing while speaking. I liked the quotes.

    Diandra

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    1. I'll try to work harder on that the next story I write. I still feel like I'm working on finding my voice and appreciate any feedback offered. :)

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  17. Replies
    1. LOL, probably did, just the way I chowed down on some delicious leftovers a moment ago (tilapia with mango salsa). Now I'm hungry again!

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  18. Ok... So the thing I wrote, the two paragraph thing I wrote..just went. :/

    I loved this, Rommy! I loved the showy quotations (Smart kids. Don't you just want to slap them?) and the question they raised. I also had the Monty Python "Milkman" sketch and Uma Thurman's floating Venus in my head the whole time. Very Gilliam!

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    1. You always have to keep on your toes with the smart ones. They have the best shot at getting away with things they don't want you knowing about!

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    2. Blogger has been properly chastised (the same thing happens to me all the time - bleh!)

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  19. Apparently, blogger was really hungry - my comment isn't here, either.

    I was wondering if Mom and her Universal Vacuum were cleaning-up Pandora's mess.

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    1. 50 points to Gryffindor for getting the Pandora reference! :)

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  20. And so it was that the plumber passed into Astreas lively subjective realm ...molded by water , he was never the same again, his pipes having been permanently unvlocked , and henceforth all people could do was follow him !

    So powerful and wisdom laden ...thanks

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  21. After reading through some of the other comments, I don't have anything new to add. At least right this minute. But I did want to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Light hearted, with an underlying theme of philosophical exploration. Philosophy should always be approached with a whimsical smile and a "thank you, ma'm." ;)

    -your Artful White Fox

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    1. Indeed, there needs to be a bit whimsy when tackling philosophy - it's the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down.

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  22. such a fun read, and totally unexpected!

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    1. Thanks! I liked getting the chance to play with an odd perspective for this writing prompt.

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  23. Oh I love your imagination and the play on the flip flops!

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    1. Thank you! The painting had so many fun and quirky details to work with, but those flip flops really stood out to me.

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  24. Really, great stuff.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  25. Whistles!!!❤️πŸ’˜This is freaking awesome Rommy!!😍I love how you have portrayed the mother as a sassy, fiery gladiator and oh those two children with their spunky exchange of dialogues makes this a tale to remember! Beautifully executed. Thank you so much for participating at Prompt Nights and for your constant love and support❤️πŸ’˜


    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  26. You threw us some fun punches there - float like a butterfly quote like a bee. I'm floored

    much love...

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  27. I love your take on the photo, wonderful imagery in your words and such fun with the children and their quotes. This was really fun to read and more to it then first meets the eye, well done :-)

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  28. That is the first time I have seen the command, "No!" to be such a alluring invitation. What an excellent piece this is with wonderful dialog.

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  29. That this was based on the picture just shows what a extraordinary imagination you have. Thumbs up

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