Toothed

If my words are toothed
they were born that way,
dreaming of howling
before they clawed out of my chest.

It may not be wise,
but it’s less painful

than seeing them
crawling beneath my skin
when I look in the mirror.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Song Choice: Shout covered by Think Up Anger

Liner Notes for This Groove: This poem was created for the Friday Writings prompt at Poets and Storytellers United. "To Speak Up or Stay Quiet?"

Beyond Heaven

I was never really heaven’s favorite child.
I failed
to prove my obedience
by asking “why” and “what if”.

And heaven offers no salvation for dreamers
unless they stay cloaked with its holy hues.

All I have left to show
for my dreams are lost love’s ashes
clinging to the souls of every one of my failures,
who in turn are ground into oblivion.

I never thought anyone
would find comfort or inspiration in my stories,
taking cautionary tales as aspirations,
insisting there’s gold beneath the grime.
I didn’t expect you, my daughter,

knowing the selectiveness of heavenly mercy,
would demand that heaven acknowledge you
and start living up to its ideals.

How can a parent ask their child
to be less than what they are,
to shrink their spirit
when they are finally ready
to shout truth in the face
of reactionary angels?

I may repent
an innumerable host of stupid decisions
but I refuse to renounce the greatest miracle
my disobedience has birthed.

 

Song Choice: More Than Anything from Hazbin Hotel

Liner Notes for this Groove: I've been sick with COVID for the last week and a half. In between hacking up my lungs I got a chance to binge the musical series, Hazbin Hotel. While I enjoyed it, it's definitely not for everyone. The pacing gets a little crazy and there's a song/ scene that makes Fantine's I Dreamed a Dream from Le Miz seem like Somewhere Over the Rainbow (they were not kidding around with the content warning for episode four). But I am a sucker for musicals and characters that are idealistic dorks, like Lucifer and Charlie.

Sing a Song of Giants

Sing a song of giants
in a land far, far away.
Tell a tale of magic
to keep despair at bay.

Whistle an adventuring tune
as you begin your trip.
Wander an ancient desert.
Try to give your shadow the slip.

Gather odds and ends of myth.
Plant the bits you love the best.
Weave the remainder into a quilt
to wrap around you as you rest.

King, from the animated series, Owl House

Song Choice: Owl House LoFi 

Liner Notes For This Groove: This poem was written in honor of one of the regulars at the local writers' group I frequent, Tyler Simanski. He passed away some time late last Friday. Tyler was a fantasy writer too. Sometimes he and I would talk about our favorite cartoons, including Owl House. He will be missed by me and all the other members of the Bucks Country Writer's Room.

In Search of Nuance

This is the bleeding heart
that shines the mirror
begging you not to look away.

This is the ram
unafraid to challenge
both demon and angel,
demanding a response.

These are the hands
cramped from the sorting
of seed from stone.

These are the throats
swallowing worlds of emotions
while looking for a space to scream.

This is my heart
in search of nuance.

All I find is a mirror.

Photo by 卡晨 on Unsplash

Song Choice: For What It's Worth covered by Stevie Nicks

Liner Notes for this Groove: This poem is linked to Poets and Storytellers United's Friday Writings

That Last Morning

That last morning, you woke me up when the light from the alarm clock was brighter than the sky outside. It didn’t bother me because I knew the clock had been winding down since January of last year, when I prayed that you’d see one last snow fall. You got your snow. You got your week by the sea. You played with the children you loved. Earlier this week you even got steak. So when I heard you whimper during the morning shift (Dad always takes the night shift) I lay down next to you. I rubbed your back until you felt better. And together we watched the sky lighten, waiting for Dad to get up and so we could that last morning walk together. 

On that last morning
your pain finally left you.
My pain is lessened
knowing that we gave you these gifts—
a full life, a gentle end.

Kit, looking dapper

Song Choice: Cracker Jack by Dolly Parton

Liner Notes for This Groove: This poem is linked to the Friday Writings Prompt at Poets and Storytellers United. It was written for my sweet boy Kit, who crossed the rainbow bridge last Friday. I am grateful that our whole family was able to be in the room when it was time to say goodbye.

Who Can Think of Spring?

I often think about the still-born spring, three years ago, when it seemed like nothing would ever grow again—not even in our woods. The woods were lost girl met lost girl, years and years ago. We decided that it was safest to believe in magic to find the way through. We lifted moss-colored words from the banks of our creek to line our path and tucked stories into trees. 

I wonder if the trees notice you are gone, when I go to pick up scraps of memories caught in the brambles by the creek. I wonder what the creek thinks when I try to weave those scraps into something recognizable, something that makes sense. Spring green should not be the color of grief, but even now, in the spaces where growth is undeniable, spring always arrives late for me. 

 

who can think of spring
while grieving the one flower
that will not grow back

Photo by Ed Leszczynskl on Unsplash

Song choice: Gavi's Song by Lindsey Stirling

Liner notes for this Groove: This poem is linked to Poets and Storyteller United's Friday Writings Prompt, In Memoriam.

Libra Moon

The Libra moon doesn’t know her own strength

—the gravitational pull of her sideways smile
drawing in strange and unasked for tides.
But she will always shine for herself first.

Photo by kylefromthenorth on Unsplash

Song Choice: Ex's and Oh's by Elle King

Liner Notes For This Groove: This poem is linked to Poets and Storytellers United's Friday Writing.

An Unburied Breath

An unburied breath
can remember its own name
even in the witching hour.
Dreams of my youth startle me
by how bright and close they seem.

Photo by Egor Vikhrev on Unsplash

Song Choice: Breath of Life by Florence and the Machine

Liner Notes for this Groove: This poem is linked to Poets and Storytellers United's Friday Writings, Modern Marvels. The modern invention I'm most grateful for is my new C-PAP machine. Best sleep I've had in ages!

New Year's Wish

My wish for you—

Hope as sharp as lion’s teeth
devouring all the concrete that buries you
until you can

unfurl yourself under the encouraging sun
and make your own wishes
fly far and wide.

Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

Song Choice: Hey Jude covered by Infinity Song

Liner Notes for this Groove: This song is linked to Poets and Storyteller United's Friday Writing Prompt, Fascinating. I'm not sure how obscure this fact really is, but it always tickled me that the word dandelion originates from Latin meaning "lion's teeth".