It’s a good day to be working hard.
He rubs his hands on fabric.
Work pants, they call them.
He doesn’t have much use
for anything that doesn’t work.
His cigarette dangles at the corner
of his mouth. Like an old cowboy
on those black and white TV shows,
he likes keeping things simple.
The thump, thump, thump of a hammer
held in a hand that left behind a digit
in payment on a project paid for years ago
is all the music he needs to keep him company.
Stepping back to take a look at his work,
he notices the burn creeping over the brown
he has built up with this season’s work.
Nothing to get too concerned over,
then the neighbor-lady comes out
off to do an errand before the kids come home,
and he takes stock of his appearance
as he admires hers.
Still strong, with most of his hair,
still savvy, smarter than the young man he was.
Maybe his middle pulls on his shirt
a little more than last year.
In a voice more Romanoff than Roy Rogers
he says, “Good morning, miss. You are looking very well
today.”
Doris Day’s voice answers with Rita Moreno’s smile.
“Why thank you. Though I'm more ma'am than miss.
Working on getting the house ready?”
Working on getting the house ready?”
“I’m always working,” he answers.
Song Choice: Hard Hat and a Hammer by Alan Jackson
This poem was created for Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads Weekend Mini Challenge: Portraiture and is linked to Poets United's Poetry Pantry 481.
Love, love, love this! I am transported decades back and loving each second I remember.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad. I did the best to do the gentleman justice.
DeleteDo we ever find out who this character is? History or fiction? Doesn't matter really, the details are finely wrought. Could be something from the 50s or the 50s in the 00s. Again, doesn't matter, that's how well its done.
ReplyDeleteI'm a goofball. I probably should have mentioned that this is a gentleman I've encountered in real life. He was a older fellow, still very active and proud to show off his hard work. The way he looked and stood reminded me a of an old gunslinger on the Westerns my husband loves, but his thick Russian accent and gracious manners put me in mind of a lost prince of Russia before the revolution.
DeleteGood morning, Rommy! Yours is the first poem I’ve read today, and it’s given me a wonderful start to the day! Your portrait is so strong and manly, and I love the detailed gestures that tell us so much about him: the way he ‘rubs his hands on fabric’, the cigarette dangling in the corner of his mouth and the ‘voice more Romanoff than Roy Rogers’. Like Brendan, I'm dying to find out who he is!
ReplyDeleteThe subject is a lovely older gentleman I've met every now and then when he was outside working on his house. LOL, I am such a derp for not including that straight off!
DeleteSuch a fully-realized narrative and description of character. Excellent writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry! It was a really neat exercise to get across his character in a poetic format.
DeleteOoow I love this!..though I am slightly biased by the image of my hubby currently working outside replacing fence panels(with his hammer) :D XXX
ReplyDeleteYay! I love that you got that connection from it.
DeleteI love the naturalness of the exchange, the this-is-who-we-are-and-how-we-do-things tone of it. And your descriptions of the voice and smile made me smile. Like the beginning of a good story, this poem makes me curious about the speaker and subject.
ReplyDeleteThanks Magaly! I tried to keep the whole thing as unfussy as possible to really suit the subject. He's a nice old fellow and I wanted to do right by him in poetic form.
DeleteYes there is a feeling of nostalgia as those days of old are recalled. Sadly the advances that we made over the years unfairly obliterate the beauty our youth and of becoming aware.
ReplyDeleteOh I don't know. I think he cut a dashing figure as an older man. But maybe that's because he always flatters me about my age.
DeleteThis is gorgeously vivid and entrancing, Rommy!❤️ I love; "Like an old cowboy on those black and white TV shows, he likes keeping things simple," and am dying to know who he is!
ReplyDeleteHe's a nice older man who still keeps himself very busy doing repairs. I wanted to try something a little different with my poetry for this.
DeleteYou painted such a clear picture of this man with your words! I, too, want to know more!
ReplyDeleteI am so delighted that people are having such a positive response to this piece. I took a little bit of a risk going in a different direction than I usually do, but I think it worked out well.
DeleteI love how you went all in with the description and fit it into the exchange with that lady he really came alive for me.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure about adding that in the beginning, but once I had it down, I thought it rounded out his character nicely.
DeleteSuch a clear portrait of the man! It felt like you captured each habit and thought.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chrissa. This was a neat prompt and I wanted to tackle it by going with someone I didn't know quite so well. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.
DeleteThis is great all the way through, but her more ma'am than miss is just the most perfect thing.
ReplyDeleteI loved that little touch too. :D
DeleteYour poem made me think of my father who was a carpenter. I saw a meme the other day which said "Sawdust is glitter for men." That reminded me of him too because the smell of fresh sawdust takes me right back to watching him work when I was small.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad people are making connections to some of the older gents in their lives through this piece.
DeleteI can see them both so well, feel the good will and neighbourliness. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteYes! In fact my husband and I met him on one of our walks through the neighborhood.
DeleteThink I've met him someplace sometime but can't lay a finger on any. I used to do more than I do now. I chuckled and identified with, well really the most, but this brought the chuckles, "his middle pulls on his shirt a little more than last year." [:-)
ReplyDelete..
LOL, that happens to the best of us I'm afraid.
DeleteYou have definitely made him come alive. You wrote him as a living, breathing human being with a strong work ethic. I love all of the details you included that make me tink I would recognize him if I met him!
ReplyDeleteWoot! I'm glad I was able to succeed in representing him as vividly as I did.
Deletei enjoyed this very much...much to be said today for someone always working...very nice...bkm
DeleteI certainly think so. Thanks bkm
DeleteWhat a wonderful portrait! You give us a real sense of this man. I like him. (Are you the neighbour-lady?)
ReplyDeleteLOL, indeed I am.
DeleteWow! This is a wonderfully drawn portraiture. I see it as the opening salvo to a book - though not quite sure if that would be one that goes forward or flashes back (a world of possibilities in that Romanoff thing). Once again, a pleasure to read your writing, Rommy.
ReplyDeleteThe Romanoff detail is one of my favorite parts of this piece. Hmmm... but you are right, there could be a novel in that. :)
Deletea voice more Romanoff than Roy Rogers... still smiling over that one...!!!
ReplyDeleteYay! Thanks Thotpurge.
DeleteA well painted portrait.
ReplyDeleteThanks J
DeleteA wonderful portrait, Rommy.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Delete