Birthday Dirge for a Daisy Warrior

Dear valiant warrior, of your fame I sing,
the Caribbean Valkyrie, born in the spring.
Let the populace tremble, shiver and shake
as we go and pillage Dominican cake.

May ink flow freely.
May blood stay red.
Yes, you are older,
but it beats being dead.

With hammers raised high, our ululations ring out.
Faint hearts go a-fleeing when they hear our shout,
for they know our sweets are a sublime pink hue
tinted by blood just especially for you.

May your smiles be wicked.
May hair grow wild on your head.
Yes, you are older,
but it beats being dead.

May your blades be not rusty. If rusty, ne’er wet.
If wet, throw them at enemies’ heads. Don’t fret!
Dealing with enemies should cause no frustration.
When all else fails, try defenestration.

May friends have glad hearts.
May all opposing feel dread.
Yes, you are older,
but it beats being dead.

An offering of Dominican cake would be especially fun in this!
handmade by Eliora



This poem was inspired by the prompt given by Magaly Guerrero Poetry for the Cruelest Month 2016: Write Me a Birthday Dirge

Process note: While I haven't had to make the disclaimer to point out that my work should generally not be taken as autobiographical or based on people I know, I want to take the time to point out this is TOTALLY all about tomorrow's birthday girl, Miss Magaly. I hope it made her smile, even though I couldn't stop laughing long enough to record this out loud. I kept trying to sound like the dwarven chant from Lord of the Rings. It didn't work. My voice sounds more like something that belongs to a hyperactive pink pony than a dwarven warrior.

Song Choice: Smile from My Little Pony (sung by Pinkie Pie)

38 comments:

  1. This totally made me think of Lord of The Ring's and so true that growing older sure beats the alternative! Now for another piece of Dominican cake.

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    1. That stuff is sooooo good! I need to make sure I get a piece for my birthday!

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  2. Faint hearts go a-fleeing when they hear our shout,
    for they know our sweets are a sublime pink hue
    tinted by blood just especially for you.


    Oh! This is absolutely gorgeous :D
    Beautifully penned.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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    1. Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it.

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  3. This was great fun. I love the refrain.

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    1. It felt like it needed a refrain. Of course, then it felt like a drinking song, but I liked the way it went so I kept it. :D

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  4. BWAhahahahaha...fantastic!!! Rommy you are genius :D XXX

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    1. If I am, then it's a mad one :D Glad you enjoyed it.

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  5. This is so cool. She will love this. :)

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  6. What Gina said! I made the mistake of reading this gem in bed, right next to my Piano Man (who was sleeping) and my poor love shot up awake, eyes wild, thinking that I was having some sort of fit. Oh, my goodness, Rommy, this is sooo good. My laughing tears half-blinded me. You might have to have a guest post at my blog soon, just so I can show this off. You know which is my favorite line... All of them! ♥♥♥

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    1. *snicker* Then breaking out the drum and to make sure the beat worked was worth it. Also I felt the urge to go "aaaaahhhhh-ooooooooh, aaaaaahhhhhhh-oooooohhh" before each verse while I was reading this out loud. It's not terribly impressive when done by a soprano, but the intent was there.

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  7. "Ululations" and "defenestration" in the same poem? I bow to you, o mistress of word usage! Does Dominican cake have rum in it? If not, it should.

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    1. I don't think it typically does, but it'd go great with some rum on the side!

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  8. What a spectacular birthday gift!

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    1. It is among one of the strangest I've given. And the only one involving me playing on a drum.

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  9. "With hammers raised high, our ululations ring out". Not for the faint hearted indeed! Love the repetition of verses, it gives the poem a musical feel. It should get the birthday girl singing:)

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    1. I think it should sound just fine set to music. If I can stop laughing long enough to sing it!

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  10. This is hilarious!!! Magaly will love it.

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  11. Love the chorus lines! Yes, you are older, but it beats being dead! You captured the essence of Magaly so well! Great job!

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    1. *snicker* I tapped into a lot of inner silliness but I'm glad it works. :D

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  12. This was great! Defenestration, indeed!

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    1. That was a word I *had* to get in. It has such great rhythm.

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  13. Oh, did I not comment yet? I thought I had, but perhaps got interrupted. Came here again from M's fb page. So in case I didn't say so already, I think this is brilliant, wickedly funny, and I adore the refrain .

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  14. Rommy!!! Brilliant! Fantastic!!! Love!!! I am smiling! I am laughing! I am celebrating! Really love!!!
    (I was laughing at your pink pony comment too!)

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    1. LOL, yeah, my daughter got me into My Little Pony. I resisted as long as I could, but dammit, the show is just too cute.

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  15. Brilliant! I love all the ululating and pillaging of Dominican cake. This is just fantastic.

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  16. This was so much fun to read, I read it twice! Perfect for April's Birthday Girl!

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    1. It was fun to write - even though I had to rhyme!

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