Patient (Eight) Zero (Eight)

Sadism has many faces,
some leather clad, some bare.
But there is a deviation
that has nothing to do with sight,
but sound.

How does it start?
Does it begin with a viewing
of Ricardo Montalban tormenting
a horror struck Walter Koenig?
Is it related to a love 
of snarky robots relishing truly awful cinema
but twisted to suit aural depravity?

But fiends of which I speak
are not reliant on luckless spacemen.
Oh no. It is far simpler
to find the right worm,
squirming on the Top 40
or wriggling on a playlist,
into unsuspecting ears,
then laugh at the victim’s distress.

Auricular Dominitis,
the uncontrollable desire to implant earworms,
is real.

Perhaps we can pity those afflicted,
because they must have had an earworm first
to even think of such horrors 
and be driven to the resultant cruelty.
As the first patient, they simply desire
company in their agony.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.

This brass egg from Eliora looks far too cute for earworms
but I couldn't help but want to show it off. 

Song Choice: Macarena by Los Del Rio (Yes, I am chuckling evilly now. Why do you ask?)  

This poem was prompted by Magaly Guerrero's Dark Poetry for the Cruelest Month 2016: Fictitious Affliction Symptoms


  1. I started grinning at the first line. And by the time I got to the name of the illness I had to run to the bathroom... to laugh without disturbing my poor Piano Man from a restful sleep.

    One of these days, someone needs to come up with the tools--attire, accessories, playlist...--an Auricular Dominitis spreader uses on her trait. ;-D

    1. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Oh that'd be a really funny idea for another prompt!

  2. Welllll my ears feel all crawly now...

  3. Bwahahahaha....tis about time this sickness was given a proper title. I have been "Running up that hill..." with Kate Bush for days now :D XXX

    1. Ack! Now it's in my head. Though that is an improvement from the Macarena. :D

  4. Imao :D this is incredibly witty and delicious Rommy! Kudos :D

  5. OMG, there's no worse disease! Well done.

  6. Replies
    1. Very terrible for the victims of those who chose to spread their Auricular Dominitis.

  7. I am so glad you put a name to this horrendous malady! There seem to be a lot of sufferers on Facebook anymore! Funny and well written, Rommy!

    1. All it takes is one song and boom! People all rush to inflict it upon their friends as the Auricular Dominitis advances. :D

  8. Oooh! I love this! This is such a creative one!

  9. Aha there's the word, Auricular Dominitis! I heard this affliction is doing rounds in the third most populated country, Facebleak. Very funny Rommy♥

    1. I'm fairly sure it's reached epidemic proportions there!

  10. Heehee. And also, I'm all twitchy now. I blame you. ;)

  11. Eek! And now there's a name for it. Lol. Before I saw "macarena", I saw the egg and for some reason " Brass Monkey" by the Beastie Boys started playing in my head. Now that's been mashed with Macarena. Its interesting.

    1. Oof! I've had strange mash-ups play all in my head too, but that's a really odd combination.

  12. Oh yucky!! I am all creeped out!!!!