Grief ate half my heart.
Rage consumed half what was left.
What remains of me?
Song Choice: She Used to Be Mine from the play Waitress, performed by Sarah Bareillis
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| Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash |
Featuring poetic beats, lyrical storytelling, and other assorted jazz.
Sad, pertinent question.
ReplyDeleteYep
DeleteOh this is so heartwrenching!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I was able to have that impact in so brief a space.
Deletemmmmm. It says so much with so little. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Margaret
DeleteSpot on!
ReplyDeleteThanks Vivian.
DeleteSuch a concise and perceptive piece
ReplyDeleteThank you Jae
DeleteWhatever remains is the strongest half.
ReplyDeleteI try to remind myself of that
DeleteYes!
DeleteThis has the force of an aphorism.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rosemary
DeleteI feel as if I've just entered the tale of the monster in a fairy tale--a captivating poem.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is absolutely one way to see it. When I finished writing it, I was fascinated by how such a small piece can hold so many shadow-filled facets.
DeleteWhat remains of me? I hope pieces of hope to once again beat with the life of a full heart.
ReplyDeleteHope is a marvelously cagey thing, surviving in places where one would expect it to shrivel away.
DeleteSome philosophical inquiries must be answer by more of the same, I think: Are we the sum of our parts? Can energy be destroyed? Where do spaces and hollows go?
ReplyDeleteYes, this is a piece that definitely was meant to invite questions.
DeleteGreat poem, makes readers think.
ReplyDeleteI will count that as a win. Thank you Jamztoma.
DeleteGrief has the upper hand, with me. The brevity really works, in this poem. Sometimes all the words in the world wont fix all the horrors.
ReplyDeleteI think many share the same feeling of being overwhelmed by grief.
DeleteA haunting haiku.
ReplyDeleteYes, for both the questions and answers it suggests.
DeleteI love that it ends on the question. One of despair but at the same time suggesting room for possibility, even though possibility is a hard pill to swallow in such moments of grief.
ReplyDeleteI always like to believe in the possibility of good change, even in the worst of situations.
DeleteYou express what I'm feeling so succinctly. I wish I had written this.
ReplyDelete*gentle hugs*
DeleteIt's a riddle: The answer could be nothing--or all of you, everything. The halves taken away were durations, distortions, obstacles in the great and changing path of the heart. Sad song.
ReplyDeleteYes, to all of that. I definitely wanted the feel of a riddle.
DeleteWow! Sad, with questions.
ReplyDeleteIndeed
DeleteThis is awesome! I often refer to that which is distressing my mind, as 'chewing me up' … thus, your senryu gives me pause. Grief and rage do take so much out of a person, and you have encapsulated that so powerful - and yet so succinctly, here.
ReplyDeleteThank you Wendy. I was very pleased with how well the form worked for what I wanted to express.
DeleteJust the sad memories.
ReplyDeleteSadly, yes
DeleteYou'll have to grow a new heart. A lot depends on your capacity for healing.
ReplyDelete..
As much as there is a lot of awful in the world, yes, this. I think a heart can grow again. I believe in healing, even though it isn't easy.
DeleteI think time will tell. Grief and rage often pair up. I have felt exactly this way.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have. But it does feel like this condition has become an epidemic lately. And no vaccine has been created yet.
DeleteGrief and rage leave a dangerous void- bound to be filled by anything. A succinct write.
ReplyDelete