Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?


I told my husband to never doubt a Latina’s love when she is willing to go 8 days in her own home without rice. My husband is Jewish, and one of his big holidays is Passover. Someone once described Passover to me as “Jewish Thanksgiving” (a popular meme describes it as “They tried to kill us. They failed. Let’s eat.”) But it’s hard for me to work up thankfulness (or enthusiasm) for 8 days of no bread, rice, or beans. Not to mention the work that goes into prepping the house.

To say this year was different is an understatement. To start, the boisterous gathering that is the Passover seder was off. Going on a treasure hunt for toilet paper and other basics also took priority over hunting through multiple stores for Passover specific foodstuff.

Have I fantasized about skipping Passover before this? OK, yeah. But not like this.

We didn’t do any major preparation. We didn’t bother to use up the explicitly non-kosher for Passover food beforehand. But we did joke that despite not having the things that made it a traditional Passover, in some ways this was the most Passover-y Passover ever. We had to make do with whatever kind of food we could find—a tiny roast, one box of matzoh, apple sauce instead of haroset for example. There was a literal plague we were hoping would pass over our house. And do not get me started on the stand-in for the Pharaoh.

A seder did end up happening over Zoom. As expected, we got extreme close-ups of the ears and noses of the folks who weren’t as used to technology as others. We went with a very simplified version of the seder to make things easier. But the interaction between family was still warm and lively. And the singing…well, the singing was as it always was, with all the gusto and heart of the Von Trapp family. None of pitch or tone mind you, but all the heart, and volume fueled by four cups of wine.

You know, this year I didn’t mind it so much. But I’ll still be sneaking rice when no one is looking. Can’t let it go to waste.


We did manage to score delicious macaroons
in a Marvelous Mrs. Maisel tin. With all the time I saved
not doing Passover prep, I made masks.

Song Choice: OK this is a lot longer than one song, but I couldn't not mention the Saturday Night Passover Seder which is raising money for the CDC. There's a lot of fun music, funny bits, and my husband was really moved by it.

50 comments:

  1. I know why leavened bread is not used during Passover, but why are beans and rice on the hit list?

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    1. I want to know the answer to this question, too!

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    2. That was my first question to my husband too!!! I believe somewhere a council of Ashkenazie Jewish rabbis felt that rice was close enough to the fluffy starchiness of bread...yet potatoes are perfectly fine to have during this holiday. Quinoa is too. Go figure. There's a very specific ruling about the beans that escapes me at the moment.

      Now you can make Passover "bread" from matzoh meal but as the quotes implies. it's not quite the same. I actually don't mind it, but it's really labor intensive to make. Kosher for Passover pasta is available at stores too, but I've found I may as well use zucchini noodles (spiral cut zucchini) as it's far less sad.

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    3. Long story short, it's a regional thing, not universal, because flour was/is often milled on the same equipment as rice and beans. http://www.jewishmag.com/66mag/rice/rice.htm

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    4. Love the article and info. Made me feel like I was there ;-)

      There is a lot of debate around this in the Jewish community as some do eat them. It is restricted not based strictly on what they are but based on how close they can resemble what is prohibited. "Products of kitniyot" (allowed) "often appear like chametz" (prohibited) "products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited."


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    5. Thank you Max and Anonymous!!! (LOL...which relative are you?)

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    6. Thank you for the answers, everyone. I always find the reasons behind cultural dieting--especially when they change from region to region--completely fascinating.

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  2. Well, I know very little about Passover customs, but I thoroughly enjoyed your account of this one, where the letter may not have been strictly observed but the spirit certainly applied – in all sorts of ways.

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    1. I knew extremely little before I married my husband, so I get it :D Matzoh ran out fast, so now we are on tortilla wraps.

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  3. As I read your piece, Rommy, I felt as if you were here in the room, talking to me and me alone. And then you included me in your Zoom seder! You almost made me forget the pain of my shingles – no rash yet but lots of pain. Thank you. How do you manage without bread, rice and beans?

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    1. Yikes! I've heard how painful shingles can be. I hope you recover quickly.

      LOL, to be honest ever since my kids went to school I cheated. It became a joke in my house that Passover was the week I was unfaithful, because while the kids were at school and the husband was at work, I'd slink over to the nearest restaurant that served rice. The kids were OK to shmear anything on motzah that they would on bread and as long as mashed potatoes were plentiful they didn't complain too much.

      I'm not making any rice for the 8 days, but we had a bit left over which I ate with as little fuss as possible. The kids have been hitting the motzah, and now the tortilla wraps. We should still have enough to get us by until the next shopping day. LOL, today my Darling Youngest looked at me and said, "I'm going to have a deconstructed banana, peanut butter and jelly sandwich" then proceeded to gleefully mash a banana and mix it up in a bowl with the other fixings before eating.

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  4. I love the conversational tone of this piece and like Kim, I too felt like you were talking to me - a heart-to-heart you could say! I can't go without rice, bread and beans either!💝

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    1. Thanks Sanaa. It's the rice that's always been the hardest for me, LOL. Not that I'd turn down good bread mind you. I'm just super picky about it.

      All I know is that for my birthday, I'm going to include sticky rice as part of the dessert somehow.

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  5. There is so much " i remembers" in statements these days. I am Catholic but i remember us having passover seders in the church yard some evening years ago. The seder is not part of our regular liturgy.
    Our regular is The Tridium: the Holy Thursday, The Good Friday and The Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday.

    Easter Blessings Rommy

    Much🌼love



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    1. I've heard of some churches hosting Passover seders too. It's always a neat multicultural learning experience. And I love me some multiculturalism when food is involved. Passover blessings to you.

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  6. Like Kim, I felt like I was there with you--staring (all right, trying not to stare) at those extra close closeups of ears and noses. I'm smiling, because I can imagine the smile and sense of communion. Also, I am picturing you sewing masks. And that made me smile, too.

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    1. P.S. So true about the "stand-in for the Pharaoh". 😠

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    2. We all admirably kept our giggling to a minimum at some of the up nose shots. I felt like it was a reality cam for a Covid 19 test.

      I'm getting better at sewing! LOL, OK, some of the seams have a lot of weird ass looping (still!) even though I've played with the tension on the machine. And my seam ripper seems to have gotten as much action as my damn machine. But I keep plugging along.

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  7. Love this...We all are making do with what it takes to social distance. I am not Latina, but I don't want to give up my rice and beans. It sounds like with all the issues of not being able to make your feast traditional it was a loving, memorable one.

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    1. It was a strange seder for sure, but it wasn't short on love (or off-key singing) :D

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  8. Oh what a pleasure to read your account of coping with crisis and shortages in your own household as well as your own family's reaction to it as well. A most delightful post indeed!

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  9. Your description of managing this important event was educational, entertaining and beautiful.

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  10. Your piece made me chuckle as the description of happenings in your household is vivid. Thanks for the laugh.😀

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  11. I would have loved to participate in this Seder with you. I love the quip: "They tried to kill us. They failed. Let's eat." May the eating go on long after he-who-shall-not-be- named (yeah, that guy, the Pharaoh stand-in), is gone! Mazel Tov! (Which, alas, is probably not an appropriate exclamation for Passover.)

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    1. Very few people are appropriate after the four cups of wine are drunk. :D

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  12. Well told … filled with wonderful (and, indeed) edifying touches, that convey authenticity and warmth.

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  13. It all centers around family and you made us feel welcomed as you described the seder. The idea that everyone met around each of their screens, singing and drinking wine. I don't have to wish you good cheer!

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    1. I hope however you are spending your quarantine, you too have moments of good cheer.

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  14. I do not understand this lack of regular food in the stores. Hoarding TP I finally understood, but Passover? I just dont get it. The food is available. Why are the stores not ordering? Anyhow, I loved your post. I can not imagine a Latino without rice. My best friend, before I lost her, was Cuban. Rice everywhere. She made me love it too. And another good friend, who is Catholic, is married to a Jewish man. Its the same in her home as yours I think. Sort of. ;) Happy weekend.

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    1. Passover shopping is always something of a treasure hunt (especially if you observe it strictly), but this year it was just too much to keep going to different stores to get everything. Whatever one store had, it had. And Passover stuff doesn't get restocked when they run out, especially where I live (I'd have to drive to North East Philadelphia for that). It's weird some of the stuff that does run out. Cans of tomatoes for pasta sauce making was in high demand when I went to the market last week. There were only a couple of dented cans left.

      I hope you have a happy weekend as well. :)

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  15. Thank you for sharing your unique and entertaining experience.

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  16. I think this is a beautiful post! You all came together!!! Everything was perfect! I hope you're eating some rice! LOL! Big Hugs!

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    1. LOL, the first thing I picked up on shopping day after Passover was a bag of rice. :D

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  17. Growing up Jewish, I found this hysterical. When you can pat yourself on the back for scoring macaroons , that is too funny!

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    1. IKR? LOL But these were pretty good macaroons, or at least they seemed extra good this year. :D

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  18. Well written, funny, informative. How could anyone pass over this?

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    1. LOL, well that really critical judge on those singing reality shows might have something to complain about. :D

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  19. I so enjoyed the whole experience Rommy! I felt like I was right there with you all music and all!

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  20. Glad you managed to find to celebrate during quarantine! We passed the phone around before Easter lunch with the result that everyone was very thankful when the meal started. :)

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    1. LOL, yeah, it took us a bit to get to our eating portion too.

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  21. Thank you so much for that link to Saturday Night Seder. Incredibly touching, inspiring and those musical numbers were astounding. Passover was a bit of non-entity in our house this year. Hope you get your fill of rice!

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    1. Oh the next day had me making a big pot of rice. :D

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