I Have Disciplined My Heart

I have disciplined my heart
not to fall apart completely
when the acid of swallowed words
threatens to devour me whole.

This heart has no obligation
to prove the truth
of the blood rushing through it
to those who would see the bleeding
as just another mess to ignore.

I have disciplined my heart
to only beat at full strength
in the presence of trust, but
far too often that means
I listen to its throb alone.


Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash
Song Choice: The Quiet One by The Who

This poem was created for the prompt at Poets and Storytellers United's Weekly Scribblings #22: It Takes A Bit of Discipline
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48 comments:

  1. Debra She Who SeeksJune 3, 2020 at 10:09 AM

    Oh, I've known that feeling. It's no way to live.

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  2. HelenJune 3, 2020 at 11:02 AM

    Your words speak volumes ... beautifully composed.

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  3. Gillena CoxJune 3, 2020 at 5:08 PM

    Yup can easily identify with your poem. Luv the image you teamed up with. I could not get the video

    Happy you dropped by to read mine

    Much✒love

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  4. Magaly GuerreroJune 3, 2020 at 5:41 PM

    I can feel those words as if the ink was bleeding out of my own heart. The feeling takes so much out a soul, that kind of discipline... And on the other side of the restraint, there is always the possibility of going full volcano (and that knowledge devours just as much energy).

    This one sings and roar to the blood and bone... and much more.

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    Replies
    1. RommyJune 5, 2020 at 8:38 AM

      Thanks Magaly. I had an inkling you knew exactly what I was getting at with this piece. LOL, and thank you for the moments where you talked me down from full volcano.

      Delete
  5. Old EggJune 3, 2020 at 6:20 PM

    When we are younger we tend to showour feelings more but then as we grow older we beome more stoic and accept the ups and down of life. I really loved the last verse Rommy.

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    1. RommyJune 5, 2020 at 8:39 AM

      With age does come wisdom, well, for most of us. I can think of an old fool in my government who hasn't matured past toddlerhood.

      Delete
  6. Sanaa RizviJune 3, 2020 at 7:18 PM

    This is heartwrenchingly beautiful, Rommy!❤️ I especially love; " I have disciplined my heart to only beat at full strength in the presence of trust." Yes!❤️

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  7. Kim M. RussellJune 4, 2020 at 4:25 AM

    I identify with your poem, Rommy. It is beautifully written on a painful subject. People may say sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never hurt me, but they do devour us whole, even when we’ve disciplined our hearts. The final stanza is deeply moving.

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  8. indybevJune 4, 2020 at 11:59 AM

    I feel the pain....but also the strength of the disciplined heart.

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  9. JimJune 4, 2020 at 9:13 PM

    Save the heart for the good stuff. But please exercise it daily, aerobic.
    ..

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    1. RommyJune 5, 2020 at 8:42 AM

      LOL, I was sooooo good about exercise at the beginning of the pandemic, but if my gut is acting up, it has to be a low activity day for me.

      Delete
  10. Rosemary Nissen-WadeJune 5, 2020 at 12:14 AM

    Moving and sobering – especially the last verse.

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  11. HazelJune 5, 2020 at 8:03 AM

    It takes discipline to discipline the heart. The last line sounds lonely.

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  12. J CJune 5, 2020 at 2:43 PM

    It is soooo hard to swallow words, but sometimes totally necessary to not carry on the ill and make that extra unnecessary mess. Excellent write. I really feel it.

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    1. RommyJune 7, 2020 at 6:20 AM

      Yes, it's very hard to hold in my words when people choose to be oblivious to the obvious pain of others and cover it in faux love and light platitudes that do nothing to address the actual problem.

      Delete
  13. Susie ClevengerJune 6, 2020 at 9:09 AM

    Swallowing words is tough. I've done it many times. Your second stanza hits me hard. I can feel it.

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    1. RommyJune 7, 2020 at 7:01 AM

      Thank you. I'm glad it had that impact. Yet I wonder if I was too subtle.

      Delete
  14. NamrathaJune 7, 2020 at 1:23 AM

    I feel this. How beautifully you have shown the ache through your words! Our heartbeats are better served when not shown to those who would judge us for our pain

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    1. RommyJune 7, 2020 at 3:01 PM

      Yep. It's just helpful not to take on any extra levels of misery than we have to.

      Delete
  15. thotpurgeJune 7, 2020 at 3:09 AM

    That's beautifully expressed- especially "acid" of swallowed words...

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  16. colleenJune 7, 2020 at 8:35 AM

    I love this and the idea of discipline the heart but that the heart has nothing to prove.

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  17. C. SandlinJune 7, 2020 at 11:24 AM

    A moving poem. It cuts away the silence.

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    Replies
    1. RommyJune 7, 2020 at 3:23 PM

      That silence needs a few air holes cut into it or it will smother a soul.

      Delete
  18. ✿June 7, 2020 at 1:09 PM

    This is gorgeous. Love the ending, love the picture.

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  19. ZQJune 7, 2020 at 4:41 PM

    Poor darn Fella! well written and depressing.

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    Replies
    1. RommyJune 8, 2020 at 12:04 PM

      Thank you, but I should point out this wasn't written by a fella but a dame.

      Delete
  20. Audrey Howitt aka DivaloungerJune 7, 2020 at 5:32 PM

    I love your work--there is so much wisdom here!

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  21. Joel (@Stranded Tree)June 8, 2020 at 12:14 AM

    " far too often that means
    I listen to its throb alone."

    Too many of us feel the same way, Rommy.

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  22. Khaya RonkainenJune 8, 2020 at 7:53 AM

    A powerful and well written piece, Rommy.

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  23. JamesJune 8, 2020 at 11:59 AM

    love your discipline poem Rommy. very relatable.

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  24. Carrie Van HornJune 8, 2020 at 1:58 PM

    Oh those last lines are magnificent Rommy! These lines are heart stirring and ones that resonate indeed.

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