I trace the circle around me
well salted with cynicism.
Sharpened stones lie
in every quarter,
while I’m cloaked
in rationality, secure
nothing under the sun can touch me.
Bleaching daylight
gives way to the moon.
And nocturnes too
subtle for day’s
cacophonous babble
break
through to pierce
my too proud heart.
I cross the lines I
created,
cutting myself on my own
touchstones.
My cloak falls off in
tatters
and I fly
until I am star drunk
and well sated.
There is no shame
in my eyes
when I greet the
rising sun.
This poem was created by a prompt given by me at Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads, Meme, where I asked people to create a poem from either the 13th line on the 7th page, or the 7th line from the 13th page of a book nearby them. The book I used was Witches by Erica Jong, and the quote that provided the inspiration (line 7 on page 13) was, “The rationalist scoffs, secure in his
superiority to all those who claim that intellect is not enough to take us
through this life.”
My goodness this is good! There is such fire in these lines; "Bleaching daylight gives way to the moon.And nocturnes too subtle for day’s cacophonous babble break through to pierce my too proud heart".. sigh.. Beautifully executed!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sanaa!
DeleteThere is no shame
ReplyDeletein my eyes
when I greet the rising sun...well done. And indeed, there should be no shame!
*grin* Life's too short for shame
Delete"well salted with cynicism... and I fly until I am star drunk and well sated."
ReplyDeleteThe juxtaposition of those two lines tickle me. I can so understand them and know them.
I love it when words I write can have that sort of impact :)
DeleteA nocturnal freedom that winks at the sun
ReplyDeleteAnd winks rather cheekily it seems
DeleteWell written and illustrated reflection.
ReplyDeleteThanks Martin
DeleteHow easy it was to picture the scene in each verse especially so in the last which was stunning.
ReplyDeleteI am tickled I was able to pull it off
DeleteI love the shape, the theme - the whole poem, Rommy!
ReplyDeleteThe shape was a little bit of an experiment, but it works well here I think. Thanks. :)
DeleteSuch a wonderful depiction of inner change!
ReplyDeleteYes, it absolutely can be a metaphor for that.
DeleteA wonderful poem, and how i adore the closing stanza.
ReplyDeleteYay! Thanks for stopping by Sherry
DeleteBeing a spiritual person and a rationalist is a fool's errand, yet here I am. I loved this.
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard to reconcile those disparate parts of oneself.
DeleteOoh I love 'star drunk and well sated', a great escape at the end from the constraints of the earlier stanzas - thought the day/night shape of the poem reflected that well, too!
ReplyDeleteThose were fun bits to write
DeleteCutting myself on my own touchstones....what a deep and amazing line Rommy! This is breathtaking!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie :)
DeleteI think we need a bit of both the dreamy nights and the rational days... maybe that's what make us human
ReplyDeleteYes. I think it would limit us in far too many detrimental ways to leave out one.
DeleteTotally love this in every way!
ReplyDelete(And thank you for the Buffy song, too. I must go back and watch the musical episode again! ... And all of it again. *Smile.*)
I love the Buffy musical too. I went out and got the soundtrack as soon as it was available.
DeleteI love the direction the quote took you in, and felt that stanza 2 carried a lot of impact for me.
ReplyDeleteI dithered a bit with exactly how I wanted to play with the quote - and it was my own prompt! But since the book is about witches, I thought a witchy spin would be good.
DeleteWord magic ~~~~
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen
DeleteThere is power, magic and pure freaking bliss... when we get to greet the sun naked of nonsense. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteTake that, nosy old sun!
Deletecutting myself on my own touchstones.. loved that especially..tremendous line.
ReplyDeleteI was quite happy I came up with it
Delete"I cross the lines I created,"...How I Love this!!...yes, yes, we do need to be 'star drunk' sometimes and let go of That cloak which is not all.
ReplyDeleteBottoms up!
DeleteThis is outstanding poetry. I love this, especially:
ReplyDelete"I cross the lines I created,
cutting myself on my own touchstones."
~Shawna
Thanks Shawna
DeleteI'm fascinated with the prompt that inspired this. Great write! Now I'm heading for my book to try the prompt!
ReplyDeleteWoot!
DeleteVery nice!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bekkie
DeleteSo many warnings throughout life, and still we erect the touchstones and draw the lines. Well, then--we have to have something to disassemble, I suppose. Powerful images. And no shame at all.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it
DeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteZQ
Thanks ZQ
DeleteLove this!! The play between rationality in daytime, and star drunk and well sated under the moon is amazing. Also love the image of 'cutting myself on my own touchstones.'
ReplyDeleteThat touchstone line seems to be a favorite
DeleteFascinating!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura
DeleteA marvelous job with the hard line that you had to use. I wanted to write for this real time but with all our Houston rain and stuff, there wasn't time.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering, I think I see your character running from the noise, "cross(ing) the lines I created," in escape. I also learned a new word which I soon may forget, "cacophonous". I think I had learned it once before. But it didn't' stick with my country school vocabulary.
..
Oh my goodness! I hope you and yours are safe.
Delete