There Must Be Some Misunderstanding: Blogging Around with Rommy Week 35


My second biggest fear in writing was being misunderstood (my first biggest was being afraid of it stinking). It’s understandable. I think a lot of us express ourselves artistically to let loose some part of ourselves. So people sometimes see misinterpretation of their art to directly equal a misinterpretation of who they are.

It’s fair to feel let down. On the other hand, when we share art we have to expect people will view it through the lens of who they are. For example, the thought of tea parties gives me the warm fuzzies, but to Virginia Woolf “even a tea party means apprehension, breakage”. People’s first (and sometimes only) responses are usually tied to the emotions and thoughts most familiar to them.

Do I like it when people overlook some of the bleeding heart bits I season my work with? No, not particularly. But do I like it when something I wrote really touches a reader, intentionally or not? Heck yeah!

I’ve written things that are 100% true, but phrased them in a way that could have multiple interpretations--Honey for example, which a lot of people assumed was about an affair. Debra from She Who Seeks got the closest when she asked if it was about Winnie the Pooh.

It was about my husband – and how his formerly out-of-control sweet tooth led to his diabetes. I’ve often said I’d trust the man in a house of ill-repute, unless the house of ill-repute was loaded up with baking supplies, in which case he’d spend the whole night preparing culinary masterpieces so the ladies could carb load for energy.

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

My husband’s response to the piece was eye-rolling and saying, “At least you didn’t kill me off again.” He insists that some of the poems I’ve written make it sound like he’s dead (to which I respond that the petite morte poems I’ve written have a solid grounding in fact, thanks to him). It just goes to show that even someone close to you can see something wildly different than you intended. 

Being misunderstood isn’t my number two fear. Persistent typos after several rounds of edits take that spot.


This essay is in response to Moonlight Musings Interactive Edition over at Poets United 


25 comments:

  1. The diabeetus? Inspiration comes from all over!

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    1. LOL, yeah. As I've said before my mind is a very strange place. Thankfully my husband has reformed enough to manage his blood sugar with diet and exercise. And Rita's Water Ice has sugar free options.

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  2. I completely understand where you are coming from. It seems that every time I write about pain as something close, that gets in the mind and bone, that makes a body twist and moan... too many people are convinced I'm talking about sex. I've never corrected anyone. Because I agree with your assessment--I might not enjoy being misunderstood, but... everyone will read through their own experiences (and I sort of like the idea of people getting some, lol).

    Also, what Debra said!

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    1. LOL, I did notice that about some of the pain poems you've written. But I've really enjoyed how your word choices and structure get me to think about chronic pain in new ways.

      *snort* I am all for people getting as much as they wish. :D

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  3. Damn! The Honey link doesn't seem to work for me. (Of course I wanted to read that straight away!) I enjoyed the conversational tone of this little article, and getting to know your hubby a bit.

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    1. Dang! I don't know what I pasted in the link bar, but it was wrong. It should be all fixed now. :D

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  4. I really enjoyed this one, Rommy!❤️ Your article gave me courage to write my own! I resonate with the feeling of joy when readers are touched by something that's written! It's the most glorious feeling in the world!

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  5. Really enjoyed reading your essay. And you are so correct with this, "even someone close to you can see something wildly different than you intended." I totally relate.

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    1. Thanks Khaya! I think he might be messing with me about the "killing off" thing, but he has come away from my work with some neat perspectives (that sometimes I'll embrace or tone down in the re-writes).

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  6. Lol, I enjoyed your husband's eye-rolling!

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    1. LOL, that man is a good sport. Thank goodness he puts up with me and my crazy creative pursuits.

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  7. It is one thing to write poetry and stories so that readers will say "that was lovely I like the way you write" and quite another to write something about yourself that readers don't recognise but think it is lovely or clever writing and made up! I like to put bits of me in fiction and write lies in apparently true life accounts. So sneaky is fine with me!

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    1. Oh absolutely! I find that doing that can really help my writing. So even if there isn't a direct, literal correlation to a character or event I'm writing about, finding even a tiny thread of connection is just enough to breathe some life into a piece.

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  8. Oh gosh, if I had not read your post before I read "Honey" I too would have thought "ah hah! Affair! Dang. Its just because I am soooo literal. I think literal. I write literal. I act that way. What is...IS! I just cant get the metaphors down on paper and to mean something. Aaaaagghhh! I guess I just have no secrets ;) Growing up my dad's favorite thing to say was "don't beat around the bush". He applied it to everything, everyone. Maybe that's where my literal came from.

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    1. LOL, to be fair I looked at it the moment I was done and was, "Yep, there's more than one way to see this." I also was an exceedingly fanciful child growing up (a little Latina Anne Shirley) so I tend to look at things and describe them in weird ways.

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  9. I too have a sweet tooth and diabetes, but I've never been to a house of ill-repute! I enjoyed your essay, Rommy.

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    1. ROTFL! I hope you are able to manage all things in a way that satisfies your heart and health requirements, whether they involve houses of ill-repute or not. Thanks Kim.

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  10. The sweet tooth will only take a jiffy to bring the sugar level up. As long as it does not reach the 'hypo' situation then control is assumed to be good.

    Hank

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    1. There got to be a point where he was so good at cutting carbs, he hit hypo levels. I've been seriously impressed though at how on top of things he's been and how he's managed to find a decent level of equilibrium to work through it.

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  11. I enjoyed this essay. You’ve highlighted the beauty of
    art. To have multiple interpretations is the result
    of a cleverly woven piece.

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    1. I love art that tells me more every time I re-visit it. LOL, even if it's my own and the nuances were pure accident.

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  12. I can imagine your husband rolling his eyes! LOL! So cute! Most of my family, doesn't like my art. I just keep going with my soul and not worry about others! Big Hugs!

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    1. Psssshhhhhh. Your art is so full of warmth and spirit. I'm glad you ignore them.

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